No, really, I've been missing in action. Saying I'm a bit stressed is an under-exaggeration. My degree is hard, my exam technique isn't great, I'm really worried. I know this is somewhat of a long post, but it's been a while since I've sat down and typed out my thoughts. It's a free-flowing exercise of sorts. It helps with everything. I just feel very hollow sometimes, when there's no one around me, or when there are a million people around me but I'm all alone in my head. It's not a bad thing, but sometimes I wish I was somewhere else.
I bought a giant duck from the gift store for about 10 pounds, just to cheer myself up… Isn't it cute? It's definitely not as cute as my dog though, who is relaxing at home whilst I study my brains out. I'm really nervous, it's only a few weeks until my exams. I hope I don't go crazy before the exams :(
Everyone's really hardworking in my university. I'm surprised, but I guess here I'm quite average. I am not the best, but I hope I'm not going to fail my exams. I need to de-stress really badly. I have tried retail therapy, but it doesn't seem to be working. Maybe I should spend more money on shopping online, as it does seem to cheer me up - though it's terribly distracting.
I've also been SINGLE for way too long! Sometimes, I just wish there's someone to take care of me! But I guess I have lovely girl friends here to support me, which is something I'm very grateful for. My parents are also amazing, and they're visiting me in the UK for a day tomorrow. I'm so excited to see them, although I am embarrassed to admit that I've not been my best self lately. I just need a break, and I can't wait for summer. Summer will be fun, though I have to do some internships. It will be much easier than exams though.
The future's also so uncertain… I don't know what I'll do after graduating next year. Maybe I should continue doing another degree… but time seems to be running out. I'm so worried sometimes…
These are some of my favourite pictures from my year. Since my term is coming to an end, it's about time to do a yearly catch up post soon. I took these pictures in London and Edinburgh, and it was amazing. I met some lovely new people, new friends, and had an alright year. One thing that is new is that I've been single for the first time in many, many years, so this year is definitely an unusual year. I've decided to focus on myself instead of a guy, which really opened my eyes to what's out there… I love the city of Edinburgh, it was magical. I even went inside a little alleyway which had fairy lights all around the area.
Isn't life strange? One year it will be happy. The other year, it will be sad. This year has definitely been somewhat of a highlight and a lowlight, because I've been rejected, pursued, heartbroken, enlightened and also extremely grateful for my support system. I love my girlfriends, they're there for me when I need them, and I can't help but say how much I love them.
I love blogging for all of you too. It gives me so much pleasure and happiness, chatting to all of you, knowing that what I write will be read by all of you girls. It means a lot to me, so thank you. Thank you for sticking with me for these 5 years since I've been blogging.
Edinburgh is so beautiful. I went there last term, so it was a while ago, but I like how the buildings light up during the golden hour. I've managed to capture the city at it's twilight moments. It really lights up. I think it deserves to be called one of the best cities in the UK, although I haven't been to too many. It's one of my regrets, not being able to travel as much as I'd like. Perhaps I'll go somewhere alone next year, and escape reality for a while. I hope I can go to Greenland to see the northern lights. They're so beautiful. I like colours and abstract things, not concrete, artificial glows.
All I hope now is that I pass my exams! To all of you out there with finals, stay strong, healthy and idealistic. Remember, the exams do not define you, and neither do your grades. I have to admit, however, that it does matter a little bit, at least for now. I'm going to try my best, and forget about it because after all it's the effort that counts.